As the Owl drove through town during monsoon-of-the-week today, I noted that various folks seem not to know about Weston By-Laws* about end-of-year holiday decorating. Because I am concerned that some of you will be ticketed, I thought it might be handy to review the most important ones.

Sec. 4 Paragraph 3 states that no chrysanthemums of any color may be displayed before September 1. If you were one of those who thought “hey, I’ll shop early to avoid the rush on the maroon Wildcat mums”, you were allowed to purchase but not display them in August. I do know who you are but decided not to report you.

Sec. 14 Paragraph 5 states that no pumpkins may be displayed on front walks, doorways or artistically perched on hay bales with mums until October 1. There are a lot of scofflaws out there. Why are you in such a rush for harvest festivals and pumpkin lattes? I don’t get it. Plenty of time. Two whole months for muffins and breads and stuff. Again, shop away (Viles and Verrill are good places) but no displaying.

Sec 14 Paragraph 5B states that anyone displaying Halloween decorations before October 1 is annoyingly on top of things and must be fined immediately. This By-Law* was put in place for those of us who have NO IDEA where in the attic the decorations are, and are made to feel intensely inadequate by your ghosts and scarecrows and skeletons…and yes, Conant Road person with the ghost that scares me every.single.time I drive downtown, I see you. Wait three days. Also, can someone please tell me where the Crescent Drive decorations got to? Those are cool. Yes, there will be a special report on trick-or-treat-ing in Weston but NOT UNTIL OCTOBER. Oops sorry for all-caps. Also I have no intention of identifying the best neighborhoods to trick or treat–the very best neighborhood is your own. They are YOUR neighbors. Visit.

Now, in a seeming moment of hypocrisy, the town allows ALL holiday lights to be lit in any color starting when the sun sets before 7 pm. Guess what? We’re there, Weston. It is dark out there and semi-rural towns do not believe in street lights. Light ’em up, folks. I particularly like the white lights on trees, so pretty. Do not bother getting solar-powered ones–we are literally floating away on the tides of climate change. Will we ever see sun again? Film at 11.

Behave, Weston.

*Not actually By-Laws of Weston. By-Laws of the Weston Owl.