Where has the Owl been the last few days? Well, trying to get through piles of documents recently submitted by the Hanover folks for the 518/540 South Avenue project, the so-called “Whopper.” For those who have recently moved to Weston, this is the “luxury” 40B project that started at 200 units in 2019 but then recently got amended to 180 units. There are a few signs around town that cause visitors to our fine town to give me a hard time–yes, Owl brother, I mean you.

Tonight at 7 pm, the Zoning Board of Appeals will discuss the updated plans and reports and charts and “stuff” submitted on November 22. Given the volume and complexity, this is just the first of many hearings for the comprehensive permit, which now has a deadline sometime in 2022. Here’s the agenda for tonight’s meeting:

Here’s the bottom line and the reason for the cheese comment. It appears that the building has gained a very large layer, or in this case, a wall. A retaining wall to pile up dirt to make the elevation better for not mucking up the groundwater and wetlands. There is a 174-page explanation of groundwater stuff here–from Sanborn Head, business motto “Building Trust, Engineering Success” which is nice. There is also a 465-page Stormwater Management Report here – from Tetra Tech which has no motto, except perhaps “Super Detailed Charts and Stuff.” As always, realize Owl reporting is not quite the news, and also that my attorney is ready for your call.

The Owl will not be joining the ZBA call tonight, as it’s scrimmage time for an Owlet’s soccer team which is STILL playing outside in 35-degree weather because the coaches hate the parents. If you are concerned about the Whopper mit Cheese, I would suggest you attend and tell me all about it. Before swanning off to my next post about wildlife at the high school, let me just tell you a joke. Because that helps in these tense discussions. You can stop reading here if you want actual news, but then you should have stopped about 300 days ago if that were your plan.

As you may know, Brazilians and Argentinians razz each other all the time and pretend not to like each other. So with that set-up, here you go:

A Brazilian and an Argentinian are walking on the beach when they see a genie’s lamp, and rub it. Out pops a cranky genie who says you each get a wish, because I’m lazy and no, you can’t have three wishes. So the Argentinian says “I get to go first because I am Argentinian–My wish is that a giant wall, 9-feet high be built all around Argentina to keep out the Brazilians.” And the genie says “okay” and [poof] or is that [shazaam], the wall appears all around the borders of Argentina. And then the genie turns to the Brazilian and says “and what is your wish?” And the Brazilian says “fill it with water.”

Ahahahaha. Okay, onwards with your day, people. 7 pm tonight on Zoom, Zoning Board of Appeals.