Lamb on the Run: Help Requested
Attention northsiders: a pink lamb has been reported missing in the Pinecroft/Conant area since last Thursday. While suspicions are being cast upon a neighborhood cat, it is possible that a very bad coyote took it.
In case you are wondering why this is newsworthy, you are clearly not a parent who has spent HOURS looking for Triceratopsie (the Field museum dino), Henry the spotted dog or Blur the cheetah while a crying kid loses his mind.
Find the lambie, Weston. Maybe Knox, our K9, needs some extra training?
If you find lambie, please send an email to the Owl at email@example.com and we shall make sure the owner is reunited with her true love.
What? It’s a small town, folks, and not much goes on.