The Owl was just tagged on a post by Weston Fire Department about this year’s Santa’s Ride through Weston on December 22. According to the write-up, Santa is coming around “parade style” with “no stopping”. What? In past years, Santa has hopped off the E-One and visited with the littles, but now, the Owl is to understand there will be no stopping at all, even at the Intersection of Doom. Let’s peruse this plan a little closer.

On December 22 at 6 pm, Santa will miraculously appear in Weston, apparently eschewing the reindoors (or perhaps resting them) for a ride on our scofflaw fire trucks which don’t need to stop. Hmmm. And instead of a two-night limited appearance of past years, the Fire Truck Santa will be hitting all of Weston in one night only–I can’t even imagine what the scalpers will charge for this. Oh fine, it’s free. But tell me again how Santa is going to hit all 17.4 square miles of Weston while doing the speed limit and NOT running over small children. I’m guessing my small street is not on the plan. You know why? Because the fire truck cannot go over the Merriam Street train bridge which has a svelte limit of 6 tons, or 8 reindeer. After an hour of riding around the coveted northside, the truck will zoom through the I of D and head to the desirable southside.

Here’s the plan. Head out to wave hi to Santa!